The first phone call

So yesterday I got a phone call from my GP office.  She needed to know my height, weight and whether I was a smoker or not.  Well...5'2" tall and 245lbs...non-smoker! I know...I am definitely in need of some weight loss and I will lose before the surgery.  I'm hoping to lose 50-60lbs beforehand.  That way I can get the girls down to a smaller size and maybe...just maybe...I'll be able to get a tummy tuck too!  That's the plan..if I can afford it!  The breast reduction is covered under my medical but the tummy tuck is an add-on and I'll have to cover that, although, many say you can get a discounted price since the hospital, anaesthesia, etc are already paid by my medical!  I'm not embarrassed to be overweight, I also have PCOS (Poly-cystic ovarian syndrome) so my weight has always been a yo-yo! Not that I am using it as an excuse, it just makes losing weight a little trickier, but with a proper diet and lots of activity, I should be able to do it!  I'm hoping to hear from the Plastic Surgeon today...but I am not trying to rush this along! After this long...I can wait, and not to mention I AM TERRIFIED!  Just the thought makes me feel a little sick.  I only get this once..one time to erase the past and move forward with the new me. I gotta do it right!

The other day I was at work admiring some cute outfits...outfits that I can't wear since they are strapless and the ones with empire waistlines....#1...strapless...not EVER.  My bra's could house a small continent, it would be absolutely ridiculous to even try and wear that! #2...empire waists.  They cut through the middle of my boobs and either give me quad boobies or a grossly distorted figure reticent of the elephant man.  What is wrong with that girl??? But as I sat there staring longingly I realised..I WILL be able to wear them.  I felt so excited, it was like I had been given a stay of execution.  I watched a girl purchasing cute little bra's for $12-15 and I was breathless...mine cost $150-200 right now.  Can you imagine the savings??  I am in the plus sizes now, but I have a feeling I will be shopping in the regular sizes after.  This is beyond my expectations.  There is a new world opening up to me and even though I am scared, I am so excited too!  And yes..I am scared, not so much of the surgery or the pain, but of the emotional and psychological metamorphosis I will be going through.  I have been big busted for so long, I have no idea what it's like to feel...normal.  I could stand out in a crowd, will I fade away?  I'm not saying I want to stand out, I just don't want to lose touch with the inner me, the person I have been molded to be because of those pendulums.  I like myself!  I don't always love all of myself but I like my wit and character and I don't want to lose that!  So that has been overview thus far!  As I move along, I will keep you with me.  You get to take this ride all the way to the end!  So here's to the next amazing chapter of my Incredible Journey!