The first phone call

So yesterday I got a phone call from my GP office.  She needed to know my height, weight and whether I was a smoker or not.  Well...5'2" tall and 245lbs...non-smoker! I know...I am definitely in need of some weight loss and I will lose before the surgery.  I'm hoping to lose 50-60lbs beforehand.  That way I can get the girls down to a smaller size and maybe...just maybe...I'll be able to get a tummy tuck too!  That's the plan..if I can afford it!  The breast reduction is covered under my medical but the tummy tuck is an add-on and I'll have to cover that, although, many say you can get a discounted price since the hospital, anaesthesia, etc are already paid by my medical!  I'm not embarrassed to be overweight, I also have PCOS (Poly-cystic ovarian syndrome) so my weight has always been a yo-yo! Not that I am using it as an excuse, it just makes losing weight a little trickier, but with a proper diet and lots of activity, I should be able to do it!  I'm hoping to hear from the Plastic Surgeon today...but I am not trying to rush this along! After this long...I can wait, and not to mention I AM TERRIFIED!  Just the thought makes me feel a little sick.  I only get this once..one time to erase the past and move forward with the new me. I gotta do it right!

The other day I was at work admiring some cute outfits...outfits that I can't wear since they are strapless and the ones with empire waistlines....#1...strapless...not EVER.  My bra's could house a small continent, it would be absolutely ridiculous to even try and wear that! #2...empire waists.  They cut through the middle of my boobs and either give me quad boobies or a grossly distorted figure reticent of the elephant man.  What is wrong with that girl??? But as I sat there staring longingly I realised..I WILL be able to wear them.  I felt so excited, it was like I had been given a stay of execution.  I watched a girl purchasing cute little bra's for $12-15 and I was breathless...mine cost $150-200 right now.  Can you imagine the savings??  I am in the plus sizes now, but I have a feeling I will be shopping in the regular sizes after.  This is beyond my expectations.  There is a new world opening up to me and even though I am scared, I am so excited too!  And yes..I am scared, not so much of the surgery or the pain, but of the emotional and psychological metamorphosis I will be going through.  I have been big busted for so long, I have no idea what it's like to feel...normal.  I could stand out in a crowd, will I fade away?  I'm not saying I want to stand out, I just don't want to lose touch with the inner me, the person I have been molded to be because of those pendulums.  I like myself!  I don't always love all of myself but I like my wit and character and I don't want to lose that!  So that has been overview thus far!  As I move along, I will keep you with me.  You get to take this ride all the way to the end!  So here's to the next amazing chapter of my Incredible Journey!

The First Phase

So this journey began...long before it really began! When I was 13 I knew I was different.  Girls my age just weren't as busty..they weren't even close.  I was a D cup and felt abnormal, fat, and embarrassed! I wasn't fat...120lbs 5'2" tall.  Not fat at all!  But my cup runneth over...literally! By the time I was 18 I was sitting in a Doctors office with a FF cup!  I begged him for a breast reduction, but he said because of my age, and the possibility of having kids and breastfeeding, I should wait until I was done with those things to have it done.  I'm so glad I did wait!  Now, I am 35, I've had 2 beautiful kids and breastfed those kids till they were both 2!  I am so blessed for them, but they left me very deflated.  My sizable bust...44H is still excessively large, but the once full cup, is now a deflated version of itself.  They are long and flat.  Still large but indistinguishable as breasts.  Plus the work they did on my tummy...I feel hideous.  I am overweight now, not that my husband or I are concerned about this, but I would like to look how I feel.  So this is how I shall begin...My Incredible Journey!!  I went to my GP yesterday, scared that he would look at me and say..no way.  You don't need a Breast Reduction..uh uh!!  I was so nervous...almost like a dream job interview...it was something I had dreamt of for so long!  Called into his office, I sat down and explained my dilemma.  He nodded and said definitely.  He asked if I had grooves in my shoulders, I said yes, and showed him, and I explained about the back pain.  The debilitating back pain...and to be graphic, it gets so bad it is hard for me to even wipe my bum or put on shoes.  Embarrassing! He put my referral in to a Plastic Surgeon and now I wait...wait to hear from her office and book an appointment to see her.  I scour the Internet for every video, picture and blog on Breast Reductions.  Needed reassurance that I am making the right decision, that I deserve this, that it is FINALLY here!!!  So I will take you on my journey with me...come along...on My Incredible Journey!