Wayward Way

I have lost my way...I have gone off track completely!  I feel like my spark was snuffed.  Just can't get back into it.  I have gained a total of 9lbs to date, and I have been so ashamed I couldn't even bring myself to blog it.  I haven't gone for a run, I haven't exercised and I haven't been watching what I ate.  I have been so bad.  I don't know where my willpower went?  It's almost like that injury doomed me.  It sent me back to almost the beginning.  I am so sad.  I knew how close I was getting, I was on such a good track, and BAM.  Gone...I lost the will, and the drive.  I can't seem to find it either.  I always have an excuse...a reason why I can't.  Nobody telling me to do it either.  Just my shame to keep that niggling in the back of my mind...the shame of what could have been.  I need to find that jump start again.  I need to have a new D-Day.  A moment to say HEY ASSHOLE!  Sooooo...I shall begin again after spring break, when my kids go back into school.  I will start from point A.  Watching what I eat and running again.  I can say that yes...my ankle STILL hurts.  I still get painful popping and sharp pains when I squat or go up and down stairs. I don't know why it hasn't completely healed yet, but I need to work through this!  I am heading to the Dentist today, I had a cavity and was waiting until my hubby's dental kicked in to get it fixed, but it decided to crack the whole way down the tooth instead!  So...I am heading in today to get it extracted.  I just can't afford the cost of fixing ($1000-$2000).  Anyways...that's where I am at...my shame,  my sorrow. I am so mad at myself.  Especially since seeing all the cute outfits coming out.  The tops I could have worn! :(

Onwards...downwards!